Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Should I do this or that.....??????

M sitting at 2 in the night, writing a blog and struggling to get what should I write about...
Should I write about, the 100 plus kilometer bike ride that I had today and the strange things that kept happening all the way... Should I write about papa's return from official tour and all the goodies he brought with him... or should I write about argument with mama which I had yesterday and wasn't easy to get over with... Should I write about the old frnz whom I met today... or should I write about people's raised eyebrows on ma new project on Carbon Credits in Apaarel Manufacturing???
Should I write about Manufacturing unit I visited today or should I write about the '1st India Market Week of exporters', I'll be visiting this morning. Should I write about ma frankness with teachers or should I write about never ending disturbance with few of ma real good frnz.... Should I write about the tens of frnds that are becoming part of ma life every month or should I write about those with whom distances are always expanding???

I am struggling from inside to choose what to do and what not to do...... It's obviously not ma hunt for being a perfectionist but it's deffinately a struggle to get to know what I really need????????????????????????????????????????????????? This time these many question marks are more intentional than the lines I have jotted above.......

Should I Read "Freakonomics" or Should I read "Lance Armstrong's biography", should I complete leftover articles in this weeks newspapers or should I pick up new business world??? Should I meet him or should I meet her?? Should I think this way or that way......write a blog about this or that..........

Dear Bloggy, trust me...m doing so much that was not imagined by neither me nor people around me, even if they ever imagined than that must have been a hollow pipe dream. Still, man still m lacking something.....m lacking that quick decision making power, m lacking that confidence which I need at every moment to be agile.... I know that m putting in lotta effort but I seriously don't know where is that heading?????????

Don't know what I am searching for. But the search is deffinately not worth going forward with. This search for a someone/ something external in ma life must end, right now, right here. In past I have been hypocrytic with similar decisions but this time............hopefully....

Even the efforts can go in vain, let that not happen. Am on a new high let it help in climbing further n not assist in stumbling. C'mmon Rohit........

And than I have always known..... "Winners are those who confide in themselves"!!! Ameen.....

Atleast somewhere the clarity prevails, am dam sleepy and have to get up early. So the only option is to sleep. And the confusion is clear...... m not gonna create so much trouble. Am gonna sleep on ma spongy bed while kissing and hugging ma pillow for a sweet night minus all the rubbish thoughts :)

1 comment:

ani said...

shine on you crazy diamond! :)