Monday, January 18, 2010

Running in Crowded Isolation!!

Again It's been running around, as it had been some time back & before that also.

It looks as if Life will pass away while I'll be running to catch up. To catch up with my early morning local, to catch up my office work, to catch up with every possible thing. Looks this running around will never cease. These days despite being ahead of schedule, I rush for the local, coz i should not be taking it easy . I do not remember a task in office which I have done in a relaxed mode. My phone calls, my SMSes all are getting squeezed in their respective dimensions. There's always a feeling of completing & moving ahead. I, Kind of forgot to be in the moment & live it up. To relish while being in it, while staying with it is a thing of past or a complete rarity. While I had been running to catch up, I have forgotten the 'Patience' & have come so far.

Last week, I was in a 9 Coach Borivili Slow (Local train), standing on the door, relishing the cool morning breeze. At Vile Parle, another man came & stood before me. In a moment's time some droplets sprinkled on my face. I tried to neglect but went mad on realizing that the man in front is sweating & wiping it off. These were the sacred droplets of his perspiration. This happened for another time. Now, I was intensely furious and pledged to kill this person, dare he do it again. I was big enough to make him shudder for his entire life.

Just when I had to get down at Jogeshwari, he spilled the holy water again & there I grabbed him from his shoulder, with a grip as hard & as aggressive as any carnivore will do to his prey. And I yelled, 'man, you are literate or yet to complete 5th standard, thodi to akal hogi. Paseena ponche ja rahe ho, peeche udta hai ye. Aa ab main tera paseena saaf kar deta hu'. He died than & there itself. I knew I can bring that fear.

He turned, saw in my eyes & whispered something that I barely heard, 'ye paseena hai kya?'. A semi bald man of some 45+ in Black trousers & a white shirt again wiped his tears. Not that man but I shuddered. All the while I had been running but now I stopped and rushed through my argument with him. The only thought I had was.....this city keeps crying & weeping, and we never realize. We all have turned numb to the loud beats of a Posh Disc, honking mercs, BMWs and beyond.

Cruel, yes this city is Cruel. It might be the most happening city of the country but it is CRUEL, the pace of the city never lets anyone realize whats going around, who's laughing & who's crying. People may still stop to see someone laughing but the one who cries is the one who is left behind & is left alone in a crowded jungle. Nowhere else you feel isolated & crowded all together, coz this city is all about running.

Running. You can not stop if you want to survive. And just coz of that I ran in Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon 2010.....It's all about running!!

rohit, from the diary....

Monday, January 4, 2010


Events...these are full circle, yes a complete circle... So many times it all comes back to you, it takes you to the point where you started. At the end of the month your bank balance comes back to where it was at the beginning. After vacations you have to be back to same office & same desk. Trivial things apart, all you built gets eroded in moment's time & you stand wondering, just 'Y'?? A small word from your mouth destroys your beautifully crafted sentence. Your one wrong conversation destroys whole goodwill you built over months. 'Y' ???

Yes, why?? Why am I across same situation which bothered me so much last week, and last month & last year & whatever......????

Last two weeks have been strangely different full of events, good & bad. Bad is not as bad it used to be (May be it is worst and I am little used to it now). Good comes in small packages. I wish I could control all these. I wish I could stretch good things, I wish I could stay at Kashid Beach for another few days.... I wish I could have stretched a li'l more in Goa. I wish my boss could have acted-reacted in a better chilled out way. I wish I could change their thoughts, I could control my boss's actions. I wish I could control the events around me, I wish could have acted on my dreams....... I wish I could sleep a li'l more. I wish...I wish....I wish...

WTF..... thoughts are li'l blurr..... WHY?? WHY??
I need some clarity....I need more guts... I need all that zeal & passion of a kid, that was within me all this while I grew up. I need that firmness to hold on to my thoughts, my words, my sentences, my dreams irrespective of all the shit people around discuss about.

I want to be like a Bumble Bee, for whom astronomical studies deny her a flight because of her shape & body weight. But Bumble Bee flies & flies long without knowing any science, facts or whatever.........and than She screams loud WTF..... & keeps on flying!!!