blurr.....

Events...these are full circle, yes a complete circle... So many times it all comes back to you, it takes you to the point where you started. At the end of the month your bank balance comes back to where it was at the beginning. After vacations you have to be back to same office & same desk. Trivial things apart, all you built gets eroded in moment's time & you stand wondering, just 'Y'?? A small word from your mouth destroys your beautifully crafted sentence. Your one wrong conversation destroys whole goodwill you built over months. 'Y' ???

Yes, why?? Why am I across same situation which bothered me so much last week, and last month & last year & whatever......????

Last two weeks have been strangely different full of events, good & bad. Bad is not as bad it used to be (May be it is worst and I am little used to it now). Good comes in small packages. I wish I could control all these. I wish I could stretch good things, I wish I could stay at Kashid Beach for another few days.... I wish I could have stretched a li'l more in Goa. I wish my boss could have acted-reacted in a better chilled out way. I wish I could change their thoughts, I could control my boss's actions. I wish I could control the events around me, I wish could have acted on my dreams....... I wish I could sleep a li'l more. I wish...I wish....I wish...

WTF..... thoughts are li'l blurr..... WHY?? WHY??
I need some clarity....I need more guts... I need all that zeal & passion of a kid, that was within me all this while I grew up. I need that firmness to hold on to my thoughts, my words, my sentences, my dreams irrespective of all the shit people around discuss about.

I want to be like a Bumble Bee, for whom astronomical studies deny her a flight because of her shape & body weight. But Bumble Bee flies & flies long without knowing any science, facts or whatever.........and than She screams loud WTF..... & keeps on flying!!!