Pardon my words but it was a big conspiracy against me

8:00 PM, 3rd september, Monday eavening, "tu apne birthday pe kya karne wala hai?", "dude, what r ur plans for the day?", "Hey, anything special for the day?"

11:50PM Monday Night, "dost 4th september aane waali hai", "hey, just 10 minutes to go", "so ready for the blast?"

11:58PM Monday Night..... first call --> "hey, wish you a Very Happy Birthday"
Mummy papa came and wished me, hugged me, kissed and cared as they always do.

second call --> "I dint forget this time, happy birthday dost"

third call --> " Happy Birthday sweet, May God Bless you, May all your wishes come true"

Fourth Call-->> "Bhaiyya Happy Birthday to you, kya kar rahe the? Fir kal to masti time......haina??"

5th call --> "Kya kar raha tha itni der se?? Hmmmmmm...... ladkiyon se baat kar raha hoga, haan haan ab hum to chhote log hain na, aap to NIFT mein chhokriyon ke beech mein ghire rehte ho....chal Enjoy kar, masti maar, Wish you a very happy Birthday"

6th Call --> "Hello sir, kaise ho...long time no updates, i tried to call u sveral times but got to know that u r in bangalore...aur batao?? ohhh......aur calls aa rahi hain beech mein. chalo I'll call you later.....Wish u a Very Happy Birthday"

7th Call -->>"Aur Rohit kaisa hai?? Happy Birthday dost?? Aur bata kya chal raha hai life mein..... ok ok, catch you later....again many many happy returns of the day"

Tell you....... I was receiving double the number of msgs in between.....

another call, 8th call ...... and the 9th call and the 10th.......11th.....12th, 13th, 14th call, 15th, 16th 17th... and the 18th followed by 19th call, than came the 20th..... the ol school pals, hostel lobby partners, the engineering batchmates, Engg. Serionrs, girlfriend ;) , Engg. Juniors, NIFT friends, chat friends, friends' friends, and friends' friends' friends...... cousins, cousin's friends, friends' cousins and what not......... How can i forget the maasi's, nana, nani, mama, mami, dada ji, Chacha ji, foofa ji, bua, Neighbours, Aunties, Neighbourhood friends, Teachers, ex boss, Mentors and who not....... received calls from all known living human beings on planet earth.

Trust me 4th september was just started and calls kept wringing ma head till 2:30, from most admired to most irritating person everyone called...........wierd world.......those night shifts of their jobs gave them full liberty to bug me at those odd hours :( , they really took ma breath away, jaan nikalti hai to saanse apne aap ruk jaati hain .... chaar baje soya tha main :(

Got up at nine, that too to attend a phone call, "haan yaar thank u very much. chal will get in touch later, i was sleeping. Ok, thanks again"......was about to sleep and here came another, followed by another followed by another, and another and another...........and than i switched off........... Now I was assured that whole world was conspiring against me..... 40 % people have decided to shoot me down by emails and SMSs and rest 60% were targetting my brain through my ears. They kept calling and calling. I know, I have irritated them a lot, have bugged them like anything and have never missed any chance to make fun of them but this was just too much.

GIVE ME A BREAK............. atleast lemme have a glass of water.......

Mum, m going to CROSSWORDS (a book shop in a nearby mall), hope can find some peace in books......Ufffff...... amidst that silence where people were screwing their heads by sinking their fucking souls in those sucking books, i also found a spongy couch in a corner and sunk ma ass in that. (ma words are simply a result of the shock treatment world was giving me)

The moment I put ma ass on the leather covered sponge, it again vibrated....."My ex boss, "kaisa hai Rohit?".
Me: "Achha hu, ap kaise ho"
Ex Boss: "m good too"
Me: "hey, m li'l buisy can we chat later"
Ex Boss: "ok no issues, u were asking about smthing that day, kuchh hua uska?"
Me: "What".... y the fuck she is poking ma head? Is she too irritated by her jerk ass Husband and asking me rescue her?
Ex: "About that assignment which you have to do in college"
Me: "Oh, that one. Ya I'll mail you about that"..... man, i need a break, kyon nahi rakh rahi ye phone.
Ex Boss: "hmmm..., arey i was out of town for few days so had enough work these days in office"
Me: "ohhh, kyon kya hua? kahaan gaye the".... M not asking you out for a date, u can screw your whole weekend by working extra for that pending work, but for God's sake don't spoil ma day

Me: "hey, i have another call, unknown number, person is trying since long, must attend it this time.....catch ya later".... ha ha, ma trick to save ma ass from unnecessary poking

Ex Boss: "ohh k, Birthday Wishes once again"...... ma trick's working
Me: "Thanks a lot, it always good to get wishes from you people"..... n she must have dialed someone else's number coz she was sounding despo ;) ..... ha ha

But even ma fate was targetted by big cospiracies..... Soon i had another call, i dodged that but in 5 minutes i had another and another......

God Dammit......... aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh........... please let me live for few more days

Came back.....slept for an hour while switching off ma cellphone........the time i got up, to be very precise i had 14 missed calls and 7 msgs. All from the gang of people who conspired big time agains me.

i replied to all msgs and moved on with ma day with compritvely lesser number of calls as it was already eavening and by now the conspirers must have been low on motivation after seeing ma solid stand to surrender. It was about 7:30, as planned, an awesome dinner along with fun time in a new shopping mall were waiting. I though I'll be a chauffer for ma mum n papa, will take them out but the moment i got into driver's seat........here they are......tringggggg, tringgggggg....... another call......somehow managed that and another......uffffffff......

Somehow, we moved, i was driving down to the mall....... on half way....yes u guessed it right.....Another, i got down from driver's seat, asked papa to drive and went on chatting with a friend who called after a long time. Lately she had been facing troubled times, so i had to be generous with her..... morover, she comes from the rare breed of those attractive green eyed girls ;) . i continued my talks despite crossing all frustation levels. (jokes apart, "A" is a friend who's company is always cheered)........over, one more conspirer knocked down...ha ha...

This was followed by just Mama-Mami's STD call when we were in a mall, than only Taya ji's call. Thank God, that coz of all the good i did in past, i dint had even a single call wen i was having ma awesome Dinner at "Punjabi by Nature". I took ma parents there and they were their for the first time. So, wanted them to enjoy the ambience, courtsey by staff along with the awesome Indian Delicasies and so did they. Won't tell abt maself, coz u all know m a big time foodie :)

N the day was wrapping itself back, we were about to get in our car and here it came......"Hello Rohit, How r u"


FUCK U, u fucking asshole, the biggest sucker of all time, nerd, jerk ass, I'll break your balls, u junkie, Will kick your ass, u'll dread calling me ever again. @!#$%%^#!%W^%^%^!#$#%
Pardon ma words but anyone would have done the same thing.

And I received no other gift but those phone calls and SMS's.........
It was tough time, dreadfull day but i never let the cospirers take control of my life.

I Thank God for giving me enough energy to bear all those phone calls and those endless chats that came along with every ring of ma cellphone.

Jokes apart I thank all ma people for making me feel like king on 4th of september. Trust me, i haven't ever received these many calls and SMS's in one single day, forget single day, I haven't even received these many in one whole month.

IT WAS SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL!!! "A CONSPIRACY" :)