lovely frustations :)

Browsing through the aisle of dreams,

I wonder what dream to pick up to dream tonight.....

Not that I am afraid of something.... Just that last I picked some real big ones & haven't even managed to reach half way mark, not that I din't put in the efforts! But big just dint happen to me...

Can Dreaming be done cautiously ??? Can dreams be controlled???

Who the fuck cares...?? Our lives have been too buisy to handle the cruel reality.... and the time to dream is taken away by deep tired out sleeps...

Dreams have that charm of taking us to all the forbidden land; untouched, unexplored, virgin arenas. Dreams take us to the wonderland where we get anything but just less than everything. Still, we slog like stupid asses carrying rubble on their backs....we are so much dived into reality & have become wondefully practical, resulting our thoughts to struggle for crossing obvious.....

Thats not the kind of....I want to live..... WTF am I doing????

We all must get frustated in life, for those who don't have frustations are the ones with either too many achievements or with too less dreams....in short they are half dead.... Thankfully I get frustated, irritated and dont fall in the mentioned category.... and I am proud of being this way....I am true to myself!

I want to run, I want to write, I want to play, I want to watch a lovely movie, I want to drive on a long green road, I want to love, I want to kiss, I want to listen music at full volume, I want to scream, yell, shout the loudest, I want to be very myself.... I want to win my own way!!

...cRAzIlY rOhIT

Dude is again getting ready to storm :)

I had had so much inbetween all these days to put up on blog....but I restrained. I restrained coz someone had taught me in recent times that few things are close to hearts. These things are not to be shout out all the time. Without weighing in the logics I gave in to the advises. And the blog was vacant....unposted....deserted....LOL......

It's been bloody 1 week, since I have been breaking bed. I have slept, lied on bed in all possible positions for last 1 week. I have dreamt so much that it now feels heavy to dream any more. I have dreamt about nearly every possible fiction n non fiction. I so much want to get out n start working.... my body so much wants to work out again... legs are eager more than ever before to again measure the track... But reality pulls me back, I have been getting exhausted with smallest effort....probably thats what they refer as human limitations/illness. I have just got up from maleria. Still all this while my heart has been working perfectly fine n have been loving someone as beatifully as it can ever do. It's still as active as it can be!! As intresting as it could get....It is my lovely chirpy...crazy, freaky heart. It loves & wants to be loved. :)

I, at times feel proud about working in current job. I am so much connected to my vendors & love being upto my commitments. My vendors had been msging me 'get well soon' msgs. Though it will be another normal thing with any buyer (person performing the role I am handeling), for me those msgs brought a small smile. It feels good to be among people, with people. For life is all about relations you build while moving on....

It's been lovely time, phone calls have a time now...they are not as random as they used to be when we started. We wait, if not we, atleast I wait for call at 5:30 AM, 12:05 Noon, 1:20 PM, 5:05 PM, 6:00 PM, 11:00 PM. It's lovely how things are shaping up by themselves....If it is God than....God please please keep the things this way...If it is something else, than also...God...please please keep it this way... This is beautiful understanding Me & Shivani have developed, we are adjusting to things without even telling each other about it. I call her my 'Rockstar'. She knows I am no less than a 'sportsstar'. Its a starry life for each other, we are stars in each others lives n need no approvals :)

2-3 days down the line, I'll again start running...I am eager n excited about it :)

Cheers

Good Times

rohit (motivating himself for bigger things in life)

Tensed...

Somethings matter so much to us that despite every dam confirmation, you just cant relax till the time you get it. You want those things so badly & they mean so much to your life. The constant unstoppable process in brain which keeps reminding you the importance & need of it, is the one what brings that taunting fear of loosing or not getting it.

Dont you wait for the calls of loved ones...which have to come in any case...
Dont you wait with tension & eagerness for the loved ones to arrive home in any case...
Dont you live in constant thoughts of holding on to your gold, you build up with lifetime savings...

We fear, and it is very obvious.
Coz some people are little more than important to us!!

..rohit...