Lil late to realize.....

Have I ever been in a normal state of mind??? ....A big question m asking myself...

Agian recalling the old times...... cursing myself, to let ma own things get out of my hands :( I know regrets wont help but than they are deffinately teaching something. Those lovely things you possesed were never taken care by you. Now when u have lost them, it feels as if those were the only things worth taking care of..... pathetic!!!

She was on my side, always trying to pamper me, always trying to woo me and "me ???" as if I was a jerk ass :( Can't remember many people who took care as she did. This one is difficult to forget...when we were at India Gate, a beggar came and started begging. Beggar gave endless wishes to us and said "I'll pray that you both stay together for times to come" on this she instantly took out 50 bucks from her wallet and gave it to the beggar. At that time I found it a mere stupidity but today such memories pinch me like anything. C'mmon you stupid ass, she loved you so much and you took her for granted for so many days and weeks and months and years till she left to never come nack.

I remember our dates in CP, where we always had a fight on "who'll decide where to go next". I remember the way she celebrated my 21st birthday.....I still carry those bills.... C'mmon dear, why u did u leave me???? I still remember when she took me to places where i never went earlier...."Garden of 5 senses" it was among our last few dates... It was raining and we were getting romantic (wt i felt at that time), but there was a lot going through her mind that day (this I realized later). And last date was worst, don't know should I even call it a date.....it was just my fate. We went to Gurgaon mall, and I think watched "chocolate" in PVR. I never realized that our differences will rise to such level silently. We couldn't manage to watch movie even till half time. That was a messy time, she stayed mum for the maximum time, she kept hiding things....... She went back early that day, I dropped her to her place. She went back and since than never came back for any other date.....never ever. We never watched that movie despite buying those costly tickets, we never enjoyed that cozy theatre environment for which we went there...... I spoiled a lot but she did the rest and the painful patch made my life standstill for months.......

......Sudden invitation for her birthday party popped up. It was surprisingly shocking. But than she cleared a lot.... She introduced me to her friends "meet Rohit, the one I loved, my ex", not even my soul can forget these words. When we were together she always asked me for a dance and going to discs. On her b'day we had a chance but she Din't even came close to me....she pretended and pretended everything...... It was so awkward for me to be a part of that party, still I was looking like the happiest guy out there.........height of pretending...... but my thoughts were continuously taking me to a traumatic stage. And my nerve wrecking accident while coming back from East Of Kailash venue of her party was the obvious result of disturbing thots. I bleeded that day not only from knee, ankle and elbow but also from heart. My heart bleeded more than any other organ. I still remember I gifed her that special chocolate box from Nirula's, Big Tedyy bear, A greeting card, and Lovely roses. They were worth more than any of my previous gifts I ever presented to anyone.

When we were together I hardly took care of her. I never realized that she can walk out too and if even if in dire thoughtsI realized it than I never worried about the fact.......... suddenly she left, at last. She proved a lot, she taught me thousands of management theories...... and made me realize my fault which I never realized when she was with me...........

There are countlless unforgettable moments...... moments when she cried or even i cried.....but.....

Recently I heard that she'll be marrying in next 10 months............
I wish that she stays happy and I become stronger.......

For others..........

My life's taking a toll...... Doing work for smeone else do ask a lot....and sacrifising your own too :( But than the happiness you get after seeing others is just amazing man.

Well, anyways....... have been honing ma skills too. Will have to be more efficient from now on.....

Dear bloggy, Aj k liyeitna hi. hopefully will get down with you soon as ma schedule is stuffed these days.

Enjoy

Nostalgic

We poor humans are connected to our past n future more than to our present..... and we even love it this way......Pathetic....

It's 4:40 AM and in about 2-3 hrs I have to get up so that I can be ontime for college...lekin uthunga to tab na jab sounga.........and poor me still struggling with the thots of past and plannings of future...

Recalling last 2 days of my hostel life...... jaane ki tayaari thi, it was such a senti scene out there. And we all were doing the best things we ever thot of doing in Bhiwani, "all night basketball", "Morning badminton sessions", "the long chats n walks"......"daaru partys", "Dinner @best places", "Long chats on cellphones", Halla gulla, football-cricket, masti n all..... How can I forget packing our luggage for the last time.....

Abhey's Guitar, room walls with the posters of hottest gals, the graffiti on walls, the coolest lobby in the hostel, those robbed drums (roobed from college....dont tell anyone), music systems.........n the V7 group.....cmmon man, it was so sentimental setup...and all these things kept reminding of all the good n bad days we spent together.....

I was the last one to leave hostel.... afterall I was the most sentimental types...however m much more elevated now...he he... one by one they started leaving...new day, 4.30 in the morning.... Train to Karnal n Panipat.... With ma basketball and all ma sentiments I went to station to finally wave goodbye n off they gone to Panipat and Karnal.... at 6:50 Train to Rohtak n Delhi.... Ganju (Abhey) one of ma closest.....(baby i miss u even today)....while helping him with his luggage, his guitar got broken.....shit.... flood of tears....that guitar was an integral part of our hostel lives....

Than chhoti (Duggal) in a combinedly hired car went off....... few more tears
(Sikri) in his own car with parents too waved good bye....
Now it was me and Sabu (Bhatia) we went with our parents.....

And scattered were V7 in their respective cities :(

Those nostalgic moments still make me shiver.....lovely were those days.....

I still remember the last two days
when we 5 slept together outside our rooms on those two wooden beds.....
when we together wiped each other's tears......
when we cared most of each other....
when we went to station for tea at 4:00 in the morning....
when we discussed all that we never discussed which each other...
When we hugged, kissed and cared for each other like no other day....
When we cried for each other, when we were most sentimental......

miss u Chameli (lizard) and Tinku (tataiyya)....both lived with me in ma room!!!

God give me those days once again.....they were as lovely as they could be.....far from Delhi's pace with those lovely friends and the prettiest single occupancy rooms, where freedom always walked hand in hand.....

TIT&S Boy's hostel miss u like anything....
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Was lazy today, still managed to do few good things.... m done with some more passport work, it was a good reason to bunk boring classes. Stupid movie was all I managed in the afternoon, with friends :( what on the earth made director to make such a stupid movie like "JUST MARRIED".... poor occupancy in hall had its very obvious reasons.....still having regrets that i went for that movie.

Back home, managed to lie on bed silently for sometime....When life is in its own pace, soooo good it feels when u lie on bed silently...

Well well dont ask what all I ate today....

Caution: even reading this will make u gain some calories...

Bun Butter, Burgers, popcorns, cold drinks, mango juice, Pakoras, Oranges, above all self made mocktail........yumm......maja aa gaya......and than m trying to b in shape......wtever it may be Round or square!!!

World Cup fever is on its own high this week, let's c who wins it today.......Pray for India.......a must win!!!

Good Night bloggy....

Sleepless nights are not odd thing now........

Dear bloggy, m back......struggling with time, wrapped up with endless tasks, screwd up with multi tasking and fucked up by pending work, still m back..... no frowns and dear lovely friend bloggy m here for u again smiling like an angel, dancing like Shakira m back.

I know its been a while since m running to complete everything i want, i know m maself screwing ma life by getting into hell lotta things. Its so unsatisfying to do multitasking but still for the sake of doing m stuffing ma day like anything. Long sleepless nights are not a odd thing now, they happen to me everyday. Sleeping hours have fallen to 3 to 5 now (leave weekend).

Am being told by batchmates that m too silent in this semester, yup i know. But again for completing all these hell lotta things i have packed for maself i need to be silent. But something's making me to ponder is it the right way to move on????? Its a big question encapsulating me these days.... Few things are in front of me, ma dismal result in class. Marks never mattered to me but than it had a limit too, my results are falling freely under the gravity :( I dint intend to be this bad too :(

The biggest thing is am still enjoying without any big regrets.... m wondering why so?????

Whatever, one thing I have decided that i need to sort out things, choose few and work out on few....... I cant be the one doing all the things......its for sure i'll have to make tough choices!!!

It was a slow day in college today but had its own content to teach me life's lessons as any other day. I decided to go slow on excercise in gym as its eating hell lotta time out of the stiff schedule, that too unnecessarily. Why the hell should i wait for machines/weights.......those always gymming sexy hot figured gals are not the only bonafied members of that smallish but fun gym. Whatever, coz i cant protest i took better wayout.... fitness regime will continue but in a different manner. For the time, m concentrating a bit more on ma language and yup, might enroll for some classes. Afterall gotta use this time to maximum. So communication classes are on ma radar .....searching......searching......

Ha ha.... this all was philosophy to myself...... and it is important, as reminded by Sai Baba (Mr. Chandrashekhar) today. He was a bit toophilosophical but dear o dear he had content in his talk.

Today i relished on roadside burger apart from awesome sandwiches in college. Mum's fasting days bring with them that good food too......i had "variant of kuttu pakodas" too, mango juice and pomogranate, oranges again helped me to feel refreshed. Frappe is a daily energizer now, it fills up for my 3-4 hours short sleep.
In taste that roadside Rs. 5-6 wala burger can never be matched by firangi Mc Donlad's burger.

"People around us matter, learn from them, make them your strength!!!"

"Rohit, a big foodi says byeeeeeeeee "

To my past I promise......

It's about 3 at night and he is still as wierd as he was at 10 in the morning!!! Reasons are still unknown.... and the case has been handed over to no one.

Today he wanted to go for "300, a movie", was longing to watch it since few days. He tried to ask number of friends, all declined, they were buisy with their respective lives. But this din't stopped him from watching this Violent movie. He went alone. And enjoyed it like anything. As he expected it was Fabulously made movie. Last few days, all witnessed controversies about the movie in newspaper. People from Iran and few other communities are agitated over the theme of the movie. He has mixed reactions for people's comments.........whatever, its not such a big debate that he'll stop for it and do all that bakwaas!!! All in all movie was good and he appreciated it. He learned a strong message from "300". The last scenes told him about the greatness of the leaders, and he did pledged to imbibe maximum of those positives.

As expected his friend cancelled the long promised meeting, he's happy as he too needed some time for himself to slow down. In the eavening he went to meet this freaky friend, who was again with his girl friend. How boring she is, thats a world known fact.......whatever.....they enjoyed and he too felt similar. It was wonderfull for him to explore New Friends Colony market in the eavening. And that Girl watching his friend peeing on road side was equally wonderful...he he... But he did missed one of his good friend with whom he explored many other places in Delhi. He did missed that friend.....Went back home on his "Black Beauty".

By the time he reached home it was 9.30 and he knew that he's going to stay awake for long today to share things with "Lovely Bloggy".

His mum was waiting and he hugged her mum coz he know he's been too mean and not able to give her mum enough time..... But this time he shared nice and sweet talk about his and his family's past with mum. And both got nostalgic. But those were nice small moments for him to recall tough but still good days of their lives. "LOVELY LOVELY" he said. And promised himself to write a blog on those thots soon, very soon.

Now as the clock's hand moves beyond 12 while other sticks at three, he is being reminded of that strict but respectable teacher who wont allow him to be in class if he get's late even by a minute.

He had Pizzas, Brownie, Pasta, Vegetables, Mango Juice and few other goodies.... he enjoyed all and also the strawberries and oranges which he is still having.

"Sweet Nini"
I promised to my past that Dear, I'll learn from you and will use those teachings to rise a bit higher. Dear Past, I'll learn, I PROMISE!!!

Black Beauty is back, mid sems over!!!

Waking up in the morning is the most difficult task, that too when u slept for just three hours. So after a bit of mathematical calculations, it came out that Rohit slept for 8-9 hrs in last 4 days. aaaahhh...... result of all this.. back pain, legs paining, headache, itchy eyes, dizzy me ut still was ready to stay awake for few more hours....anyways.....

Day started with this thought "it will be really good after 4pm, as these mid sem exmas will be over".

My girl friend is back after spending 17 days and 16 nights at mechanics workshop, my "BLACK BEAUTY" is back. All this while I really missed her.... anyways, she took me to college and waited in the parking lot till i was riding her again. Meanwhile, we were in examination hall and 'smsing' all the answers to all the people who needed them, and trust me I had biggest inventory of answers in my "SENT ITEM" box...ha ha..... We copied to our best....and last two exams went good....and much better than earlier ones.... big credit goes to few good friends in ma life.

It was dam difficult to resist amphi cricket after 4 days of virtual hibernation we had to pretend just for proving our worth to faculty. My bad day on feild, had many sixes on my bowling, than my batting was equally bad.... i told u my eyes are itchy n m dizzy (I carry excuses with me).....wtever it was, still i won maximum matches :D ......again courtsey few good friends in ma life.

What better can could I expect, than a cozy eavening chat with a good friend at "The Tanhai Point" and than lovely coffee at CCD with another friend. Now am home, missing some one and am dam tired.... resisting ma sleep is taking hell lotta out of me........ still dear bloggy in last few days I missed a lot to tell you and cant miss it anymore.

Few other good things that happened to me are:

SPECIAL FRAPPE after first exam (lovely)
So many sms in the eavening
England Vs New Zealand match (still continuing)

"300" is released today, couldn't watch it..kal subah relatives aa rahe hain....
what the hell is prompting them to come 7-8 am in the morning, are they mad??
Don't they know that i m short of sleep??
Don't they know that I want to see morning show of "300" at PVR, EDM.
Bullshit kal fir jaldi uthna padega aur jabardasti smile karna padega when I'll be hating all that.............. aaahhh.......... kya karu......well it happens at times, all things go wrong when you desperately need them to be as per your choice. Can't help!!!

Cut Down Anger, Put in your Trust you'll go places.
MAY WE ALL BE TRUSTED AND LOVED by our people!!!

Do watch tomorrow's WORLD CUP MATCH b/w India and Bangladesh!!!

here I m.......poor "ME"

Dear 'o' dear!!!

That stare really make ma heart melt, after a long time, tormented by one more today......

he he, apart from normal rubbish.....this is different!! I dint sleep more than 5 hours in last 3 days. Its not that I studied hard for these exams but just that I chatted and surfed net real hard..... about exams, m sure gonna flunk in few this time...... silly me :D .......laughing just coz will have a chance to make up otherwise i would have been "subak subak" sad !!!

Well..... my eyes still blinking more than usual, have that itch coz i haven't slept. Although the reason is foolish as mentioned above but still I found a beautiful excuse...

DREAM IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE IN SLEEP,
DREAM IS SOMETHING WHICH DOESN'T LET U SLEEP!!!


It's our dream/ dreams for which we all live, survive, struggle and keep running for.....
Some call it by the name of Ambition, some call it fantasy, some call it Life and I CALL IT "PASSION"!!!


I was born with a dream
to chase that dream became my ambition
to struggle for that dream became my life

that dream still makes me to run for it....
....and the destiny i write myself...!!!

What About u????
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The conclusion of this lovely story is that in these mid terms m gonna flunk in one or two subjects....poor me :(
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hey, the way you stare is seriously injurious to my health, please lemme not get ill!!!

Dear life and the people JUST LOVE U ALL!!!